Sabe como cachorros parecem abanar os rabos quando estão felizes?

Nós morávamos juntos e, às vezes, fazíamos sexo.

Na maior parte do tempo, ele só se masturbava assistindo a vídeos que eu não conseguiria olhar se eu seguisse minha criação católica. Mas, tendo abandonado qualquer crença há décadas, pude assumir, sem culpas, que a cena me excitava.

Tratávamos nossos corpos de uma maneira totalmente separada de nossas mentes, e por isso, fazíamos sexo eventualmente. E por isso também, a masturbação não era um ato solitário.

Não que eu o ajudasse no ato em si, mas não havia nenhuma mudança na minha rotina diária só pelo fato de ele estar ali, assistindo pornô (da maneira que ele foi feito pra ser assistido) no mesmo ambiente que eu.

Como quando alguém assiste um vídeo de gatinhos na internet e você presta atenção em algumas partes, oralizando um eventual "awn".

O que eu quero dizer com isso é que a independência entre mente e corpo quebra tabus relacionados a sexo. Transforma o sexo não em um acontecimento privado e íntimo, a intimidade não tem nada a ver com sexo. Desde que sexo deixou de ser um ato de reprodução e passou a ser feito por prazer, um reflexo disso deveria ter acontecido na maneira como ele é tratado.

Como amigos que vão jogar sinuca ou pessoas em um cinema, sexo poderia ser encarado apenas como algo que as pessoas fazem para se divertirem.

Dream On

As if love came from action,
I, blinded, look forward
and ask you to come:
"I'll provide", I say,
as if love came from action.

As if love came from dreams,
I, optimistically, think about you
and demand: do not give in:
"Dream on", I say
as if love came from dreams.

"Dream on" I say,
hoping that is with me
that you dream about.

"I'll provide", I say
hoping that you say
"Yes! Yes! I'll marry you!"

Panes Et Circenses

"panes et circenses
passing through your street now
come taste it
it's the best thing you'll ever eat"

She confuses me still
and I'm in conflict with myself.
Feel like I will be able to conquer the world
if I manage to convince her to come

"panes et circenses
passing through your street now
come taste it
it's the best thing you'll ever eat"

I just need to sell all my stuff
and to remove all masks
be myself, at all times
while keeping my hands inside the car.

"panes et circenses
passing through your street now
come taste it
it's the best thing you'll ever eat"

Forget all I went trough the last time
stuff that she has no idea,
all pain that I swallowed:
the pride that took so long to be rebuilt
(let's pretend I did rebuild it)

"panes et circenses
passing through your street now
come taste it
it's the best thing you'll ever eat"

Become one of two clowns
on the streets of somewhere else
that is not here or there
abandon the safety of my castle
(which was built on sand)

"panes et circenses
passing through your street now
come taste it
it's the best thing you'll ever eat"

the sound comes from the car
going up and down on my street
I need to taste it.
I need to.

"panes et circenses"

Away! Away with you!
All I need is to keep conformed
And to change the jingle
To describe what I have:

"fame et taedio
blocking your door now
come curse it
it's the only thing you'll ever live"

About Last Night [4]

We were on a stadium for some big event.
They were giving out some waffle and we could chose the fillings.
Eventually, we got to a bakery,
and were drinking soda.
There was a couple with us,
and after they left,
you told me he was disgusting
and that his sweaty balls left marks on the chair he was on.
We went to hitch a ride to my house
and, when we arrived there,
I was sitting in a chair
and you were lying on the floor.
I started massaging you legs.
You commented that felt good
and eventually told me to come to the floor with you.

But you read something I was writing
and you were responding
that you didn't like adventure games
and you'd prefered to live stuff
instead of sitting while watching simulations.

My mom arrived
and I introduced you two.

alive

Stuck in the past,
feeling old.

Seems like I've wasted all my youth
on things that I've never finished.

Feeling late
for everything that is worth
and early
for the only thing that is certain.

Dropped the ball
just as things was about to go right.
If things are never going to have a chance to be right again,
then what's left?

The fact that I am alive is,
per se,
better than expected,
but it is no more than that.

I am alive, and that is all.
That is all.

¿Quién Es Esa Niña?

I once knew a girl that felt like Madonna in "Who's that girl" video clip. Both the blonde one and the brunnete. Because she didn't look like Madonna, she felt like her. Like she could be rock both styles. That laid out, independent, funny way of being. A plastic girl with hidden feelings.

About Last Night [3]

We were at the city hall, walking around the block.
We were close as if we were one.
I asked "Can we do something next weekend?"
You said "I can't"
I asked "Can't or won't?"
You said "Both."
Then you looked down,
slightly removed your glasses
and dried your eyes corners.
"I can't" - you repeated - "It's my mom's birthday, a friend of hers is coming."
I said "Is that one that I know?"
"Yes" you replied.
We kissed.
"We can't because it will be the main streamline, right?" I asked, as if it made any sense.
"Yes" you confirmed.

I woke up.